


When No One's Watching

by Madameonyx



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Anger, Grief/Mourning, Masochism, Memories, Mental Breakdown, Other, Past, Sadness, Sexual Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-03 06:43:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11526699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madameonyx/pseuds/Madameonyx
Summary: Jasper finds herself at the site of the late Pink Diamond's palanquin causing emotions that have been kept at bay to surface.Takes place sometime after Alone At Sea





	When No One's Watching

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe or any of it's characters. They all belong to Rebecca Sugar.

Gems didn't need to eat or sleep. Gems could go on forever, uninterrupted, if they so wished. It was why Jasper had found herself wandering aimlessly after the encounter with Lapis and Rose Quartz. That, and she had no backup plan as of yet regarding how she was going to continue her plan. There were times where Jasper couldn't believe how close she had came. How close she had gotten to achieving her goal. A simple mission to escort that Peridot, a simple mission Jasper believed to be a waste of her talents, had turned into an opportunity out of nowhere. Rose Quartz had been right there in her grasp until she somehow escaped. Then everything seemed to go downhill from there. Her defeat at the hands of that damn fusion. Lapis trapping her in Malachite for so long.

Jasper let a powerful shiver wash over her at the memory of Malachite. The power she experienced was beyond amazing, but perhaps the thing that beat that feeling was the damage Lapis inflicted on the quartz soldier. At first it was an insult, for a mighty Jasper such as herself to be dominated by a scrawny little Lapis Lazuli. Each painful blow just made her more and more pissed off until a point had been reached. Jasper couldn't pin point exactly when things changed but eventually the pain brought with it a rush of pleasure. Tiny bubbles at first that popped quickly, but luckily Lapis's anger kept her going, for a while. There were times where the blue gem had to stop and Jasper would give her time to catch her breath. The moment Jasper could see that Lapis had her wind back the large gem would make an attempt to feed the anger, because it was when she did this that Lapis's blows grew stronger. What were once tiny bubbles of pleasure grew to waves, those waves then became bigger until each blow that landed brought about orgasmic bursts that Jasper just couldn't get enough of. But like before, Lapis had to stop. Since they had been separated Jasper had tried causing herself some pain to find that high again but it never worked. That little twiggy gem had the magic touch it seemed.

The gem's piercing eyes took in her current surroundings. A few trees scattered here and there. Sloping hills covered in lots of green and various flowers. Jasper had no idea where she was. It looked like every other green place on this rotten planet. Why Rose fought for this pathetic rock Jasper would never know. She had destroyed so much potential. These mountains could have been fine kindergartens.

As Jasper went on her way she paid no mind to the occasional flower that was crushed under her foot, she did however start to notice the increase in the colorful flora. Seeing them caused something within Jasper to click. Quickly the quartz soldier brushed the feeling away. She recognized the feeling before it was able to take center stage. It was a feeling she'd felt before though it had been such a long time since. Serving one's diamond called for strict adherence and thus emotional control, this was especially so under Yellow Diamond. It didn't matter that the yellow matriarch wasn't her original diamond. Now Jasper served the controller of Homeworld's military might. She was the perfect soldier and so Yellow Diamond had snatched her up. The separation from her Beta sisters quickly lost it's affect. Pretty soon they faded from her mind the more she served her new superior. One thing that did stay was the fact that Jasper would never refer to Yellow Diamond as _My Diamond._ In Jasper's mind the late Pink Diamond still reserved that.

As she continued her walk a breeze blew, causing her off white hair to dance lazily for a moment. Suddenly something pink blew past her face and Jasper caught it snatched it up with lightning quick reflexes. Unfurling her fist, yellow eyes gazed down at a crumpled pink flower. The emotions returned along with a stronger wind this time. More pink flowers started flying by prompting Jasper to grab some more. She stared at them and they stood out to her. These pathetic things called flowers had a place in the mighty gem's memories.

A sudden and silent decision had Jasper turning to her right and walking in the direction the pink flowers had came from. Every step of the way Jasper kept the delicate pink plants in her powerful grasp. If they had been alive then Jasper's tight grip would've killed them. " Such weak things. " she muttered as she continued along the now rising terrain. 

There were now much more trees, some standing straight and tall while there were others bent at an angle, perched on cliffs above. Thick shrubbery hugged the sides of the mighty mountain walls. Jasper took note of more pink flowers. A tight feeling welled up in her throat causing her to swallow awkwardly. Suddenly something in her head told the gem to turn back. To go back and walk another path but Jasper fought that off. She'd continue up the mountain path. Something in her was begging her to, so she sped up her walking and eventually rounded a bend. The path led upwards again and of course Jasper followed. There were now small boulders on both sides with the pink flora from before littering the ground. If gems had hearts Jasper's would've been pounding. She came to the top of the path and there she froze.

The expression on her face was one of shock. For a few seconds her mind went blank until it caught up to what she was seeing. In front of the quartz gem laid a towering pink object. It leaned pitifully at an angle and two of it's legs somehow managed to still support it. The base was covered in overgrown greenery that seemed to crawl up some parts of the body. Those same pink flowers were dotted about among the green. Pink Diamond's ruined palanquin. 

Jasper moved toward the pink structure with a stiff legged gate until she came to a stop at the foot of the ruined device. A rush of emotions crashed down on her like a wave. Her chest suddenly felt heavy like the pressure of the ocean was bearing down on her again. It was in that moment that Jasper wasn't sure what to feel first. Anger? Sadness? Shame? The only thing that out shined her conflict of emotions was pain. Pain so great her legs began to buckle before she fell to her knees.

" It..it can't be." she choked out. With a hesitant hand she reached out to feel the base so that she could be sure this wasn't some hallucination. When her hand touched the green plants she pressed harder until the solid feel of the palanquin's bottom was felt. Grief won out immediately. " My...Diamond." she whispered forlornly.

Everything came rushing back. Her first victory against an enemy gem. Fighting side by side with her sisters who put up a hell of a fight even though they ended up being deemed off colors. It was all for her diamond. It was all for her beloved Pink Diamond. Jasper had fought tooth and nail to protect her colony. But in the end it was destroyed. Her eyes began to water and with no one else around she let her emotions out to be displayed and vocalized. " I'm sorry. " she choked out as the tears started falling " I'm sorry. Forgive me." the crying quartz whimpered. No longer here was the fearless, cold, and hard Jasper soldier. 

Her amber eyes gazed up at the old pink palanquin with such sorrow that some of superiors would be disgusted. In this moment Jasper did not care. " Forgive me!" she suddenly cried out, gripping the sides of her head. " I tried. I tried." she repeated the phrase as if it were a magical chant that could bring the shattered diamond back to life. Oh how she wanted her back so badly. Her diamond was everything. She remembered when those pink eyes had first set upon her form. _You are perfection, my Jasper._ The words filled her head. The memory of her diamond kneeling down to gently run a finger along Jasper's jaw, played back in her head. Every time Pink Diamond looked at her, be it to smile or simply address her to deliver orders, Jasper cherished it. The quartz's loyalty was absolute but that wasn't enough to keep her precious diamond from being shattered. That moment marked her failure. That damned Rose Quartz.

" Damn it!" Jasper suddenly snarled, her grief transforming into rage. " I hate you! " her hands went from her hair to digging into the ground. " Rose. Rose! Rose Quartz! " her hands started clawing furiously at the ground like a wild beast. One fist balled and hit the ground so hard a crater the size of her fist was left behind. " You took her from me! You destroyed my planet! You destroyed my colony! " Jasper threw her head back and howled into the sky " You killed my diamond! "

It was a good thing no one was here. No one to judge her. Because if they were they would've been frightened and possibly disgusted at the sight before them. Jasper had become a snarling mass of anger and hurt. She further clawed at the ground leaving long scores behind while she fell further and further into a foaming fit of rage. Everyone now and then she struck the ground with her fist and throughout it all her eyes streamed tears. Finally when it had seemed like Jasper had come to the height of her fit her body went still. Her hands had stopped clawing and punching. No more roaring out her emotions to the sky. The only thing that still kept coming were the tears. Her eyes had glazed over as they stared at the sky with a dead look in them. Then her mouth slowly curved into a twisted smile.

The beginnings of laughter erupted from deep within her chest. A couple of low barks came out spaced apart. Those low barks turned into a continuous chuckle until she was on her knees laughing like a maniac. Her head fell forward and Jasper rose to her feet. Laughter spilled from her lips as she gazed up at the palanquin with a drunken look on her face. " Rose...and her little army did this. " Somewhere in the veteran gem's mind an idea blossomed forth. 

Jasper brought her arms up and made the diamond salute as a menacing grin curled her thick lips. " I'll play your game Rose Quartz and I will avenge my diamond." and after a few seconds more Jasper dropped her arms. The big gem turned and headed back the way she came with her sense of determination rekindled. She had another plan now.


End file.
